Peer Review: My Draft.

1. Introduction: The introduction explains what my piece is going to be about ; the queen and her personality disorder. The first sentence in my opinion is attention-getting.

2. Thesis: The thesis is "The Queen of Hearts is one of the many characters who is diagnose as to having a personality disorder" I think the thesis is pretty good, it is argumentative and it speaks out for itself as to what my essay is going to be about. However there is a mistake that needs to be fixed; rather than "diagnose" it should be "diagnosed"

3. Structure: Every paragraph is broken down. The first paragraph introduces the topic. The first body paragraphs explains what a psychopathic disorder is. The second body paragraph describes the queens behaviors. The third body paragraph tells us one of the diagnostic criteria's for a psychopath which is impulsiveness and explaining how the queen relates to that. The fourth body paragraph shows how the queen has no remorse for others and then there is the conclusion, which narrows everything down. I think each paragraph focused on the main topic. With the explanations, you will find the queen to have a personality disorder.

4. Clarity/Style: I found a few spelling mistakes also a fragment, but the overall essay seems formal.

5. Resources: There were no citing for this essay.

6: Strength: I would say my strength was being able to stay on topic.

First Draft.

The Queen of Hearts is one of the many characters who is diagnose as to having a personality disorder. The disorder she is suffering from is called psychopathic disorder. The Queen often loses her temper and has no remorse for others. Assuming that someone paid more attention to her actions, they as well will think she is psycho.

            Psychopathic disorder is when one constantly causes trouble. The ones suffering from this disorder have not one bit of shame or guilt towards their actions. They often deny their actions or rationalize what they have done. Psychopaths harm or assert awful things to people out of habit, completely oblivious to the victim’s feelings.  It can be inferred that they do not having feelings themselves to care enough for others.  One can also add that psychopaths are cold hearted. People with this disorder tend to become very courageous and adventurous considering they have nothing to lose. However, some psychopaths are full of anxieties which cause them to react in an unlawful manner.

            When reading the story one will find the Queen to be very loud and obnoxious. Everyone that surrounds her is completely frightened by her.  Before her appearance, her gardeners were quickly painting her rose-tree red, Alice asked why they were doing so, one of the gardeners replied “Why, the fact is, you see, Miss, This here ought to have been a red rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake, and if the Queen was to find it out, we should all have our heads cut off, you know.” This here shows that the Queen is one to have things done her way or it’s the highway. If one was to read the story, they would find her to always shout to the top of her lungs. She is pretty much filled with anger when she has no reason to be angry.

            One of the diagnostic criteria’s from psychopathic disorder the Queen is suffering from is impulsiveness. She is so quick to get things done without thinking of the consequences; however, she is not the one to care for consequences. In the scene where the Cheshire Cat was looking at the Queen’s husband, the King of Hearts, the King was not impressed by the way the cat was looking at it at all, so he asserted to the Queen “My Dear! I wish you would have this cat removed!” the Queens response was “Off with his head!” The book mentioned that “The Queen have only one way of settling all difficulties, great or small” and that is by shouting “Off with him head.” As she said that phrase, she did not even get a glimpse as to who it was called for. She seems to be very hyper when she calls out those three words; this shows her carelessness for anything and everyone. Also, she even seems to have more dominance over the kingdom than her own husband, being that he asked her to remove the cat rather than doing so himself. Furthermore, the Queen is indeed a risk taker, with all her actions, she has not once stopped to think, what if her company turn on her?

            The Queen very much lacks of remorse and guilt for others. As it was mentioned before, she continuously says “Off with your head” to whomever she pleases, showing her ruthlessness. Also, it is very rare for the Queen to pardon her company; it is stated that she was “unhappy” about the amount of executions she has given, being that she always want people to be at her command. She obviously is not aware of other companies’ feelings. The Queen shows no guilt whatsoever to her actions, she would verbally harm someone and then go about her day as if nothing happened. However, maybe she is this way because she fears to lose her crown. One can assert that she feels no one can hold her throne.

            In conclusion, it is deliberately known that the Queen is crazy in her own way therefore, is considered a psychopath. She is a very much consumed with anger, ruthlessness, impulsiveness and pretty much goes around without a guilty conscious. This Queen is berserk!

What will my essay be about??

A if now I am not completely sure of what to write my essay about. A few idea's I have in mind is to describes each individuals defense mechanism or probably talk about hysteria and/or write about how Alice see's herself in through the journey of wonderland. It all depends on my views of it as I keep reading, hopefully I get more idea's for my essay in a couple of days.

Alice in Wonderland.

For the first two chapters I would say that Alice gets into a  dreamy stage. She starts off by seeing a rabbit, who is in a rush, running to get to its destination. Curious as Alice is, she starts to follow him. I think that she never actually saw the rabbit but she dozed off when she sat by her sister on the bank, because they  mentioned her being very tired. As she dreamed off, the rabbit jumped into the hole, so did Alice, and that is where all the magic starts, a world of wonders.

About Nogaye Kebe.

Hello =], my name is Nogaye Kebe, I'm from West Africa && I came here when I was the age of five. I'm a shy person but once you get to know me you would see my loud, funny side. I love to sing and dance. I am currently 19 years old. I live with my parents but cannot wait to get my own apartment lol. I dislike the idea of writing but once i get into it there is no stopping me. I love to shop ! my favorite thing to do in the world. My favorite Tv shows as of now are Bad Girls Club, The Real World, Jersey Shore and Degrassi. The shows I use to watch from way back are Tom and Jerry, Powerpuff Girls, Courage the Cowardly Dog, Johnny Bravo, Cow and Chicken, etc. basically all the shows from when Cartoon Network use to be poppin, lol. I love hanging out with my friends and getting to know new people. When I am older I would like to become a nurse. I love helping people out and the satisfication I get after seeing them smile really warms my heart. Well, that is it for now, if you would like to know more about me follow me and or contact me. =]